Well, it's time to draft some bigger wish list by the financial year end of 2006:

1. Win AXS Lucky draw, win a Volkswagen Beetle! Have to wait till beginning of 2007.. Shucks.

2. Pass my PPCDL, Power Pleasure Craft Driving License. After 1 year, I stil haven't pass the practical.. my parents waited till their heads drop. I wanna drive them out to sea on some Sundays man. My dad maybe will start to learn how to fish before he retires.

3. Finish my own project. (Launch has been delayed for sometime, it better get launch soon!)

4. To have money to buy my new home. (Wishful thinking.. Haha.. but people say wish has no limits.)

5. Travel to a faraway place for long vacation. (Longer than 7 days is considered long for employees unfortunately )

*Prays to God*

Leo girls are hopelessly romantic and playful animals. Heard from the radio. Well ya, it really is somehow true for me.

I like to play so much that happiness is my topmost priority. No matter how I get it. Romance is fun to play with. Seems like I really yearn for times where I could play my hearts out, at the same time, I don't lose my ambition. My ambition is supposed to allow me to play hard and no more work.

Well, well, must really work for it to get it sometimes. I've tried lucky draws, 4D, TOTO.. NONE WORKED YET. Sigh... only small winnings.. like $100 cheque from Singtel 3G handphone SMS, $20 NTUC voucher from company lucky draw. But better than kosong. But I'm really working hard on the lucky draws in case my luck change. Haha. You never know hor!

Then of course, I must work hard for my own retirement. I know that work will never get me early retirement but only pocket money every month. Even that, I find that I've been spending quite a lot on food and transport and insurance. I kept my money in my insurance so that I won't spend them. This results in lesser money when I try to give money to my parents. Sigh.. even pocket money is not enough!!! I'm not interested in working up to higher management, spend my time in boring meetings, conferences and P.R with a bunch of boring people. No time to spend on what I earn! How can?! Working on something that MIGHT bring you early retirement is better than doing nothing, of course, I'm continuing hard on my lucky draws.. HAHA. I don't mind suddenly getting a free car or a free condominium.

Recently I've been trying hard at my AXS machine on a Volkswagen Beetle lucky draw, M1 free 2 weeks rental of BMW, then miscellenous lucky draws. If people can easily get $1K cash out of my company D&D lucky draw.. don't think it should be that difficult difficult for me right??? LOL.

Recently I've gotten cough.. I guess I had too much drinking and fried food but less vitamin C. I started to be more cautious of my health. Sometimes they like to catch you unaware. Looks like I need to take up more vitamin C.

Beer/Wine drinking, good restaurant meaty cuisines, dance and drink little water... All are signs of getting ill.. haha. Well, I had not been ill for quite a long time, at most a little headache. I guess it was a sign of over dosage of alcohol!

Bo bian, I had to go to a doctor endorsed by my company for some free medicine to get well soon. Without health, I cannot drink, I cannot share good food on the same plate, I cannot eat ice-cream and ruffles.. Phew.. And the recent over dosage of work is getting me hell of a lifetime too! Sleeping at 3am each day. My god. I really need to pray to god.

I like the MC of not going to work, but I hate the work piling there when I'm ill! Sometimes you should really choose when you get ill..

I slept through the day this morning and afternoon. I was too tired after last night's party. Today, we'll just go for a relaxing evening.

Initially we had a planned dinner in a restaurant at Boon Tat Street, unfortunately it was closed. So we went all the way to Bukit Timah in a French restaurant named Vis-a-Vis.

Go to http://www.vis-a-vis.com.sg

Vis-a-Vis means face to face. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/vis-a-vis. I've seen this name a couple of times but just didn't know what it means. It's a restaurant with fine french dining. I seldom taste french food but I certainly what's delicious and what's not, what's done with care and what's not. The one at Bukit Timah is out of the city and yet the fineness is retained. Upon the first step into the restaurant, you are being take care and greeted with a well-dressed waiter. He's wearing a tie with long sleeve shirt. However, he makes you feel at home. Restaurant decor is okay, not too extravagant. You can still come in your shorts. Soon we were at our table and made our orders.

There was a table next to us. It was a family of four having french food together. How nice. They appreciate french food together. How nice if I could enjoy fine dining with my parents? That's really lovely. Too bad, my family does not really appreciate them, hhaaa.. can only bring for chilli crab and sashimi.

Anywayz.. we've ordered starters, main courses and dessert. Bread was served continuously. Bread was good with simple butter. We were hungry. Starters came. Salad and Foie Gras. Foie Gras, also known as goose liver, is a French delicacy. It's my first time trying.

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House salad
A potpourri of crisp watercress, butter lettuce & red lollo rosso nested on a bed of vine tomatoes glistened with our Chef’s tangy fruit vinaigrette dressing

Gooseliver terrine
Crisp spears of green asparagus dusted with cashew nut crumbles topped with foie gras terrine accompanied by mango salsa in an aged balsamic & Japanese soya dressing
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I got a slice of Foie Gras and put it into my mouth.. The taste could not be described. The aroma of the foie gras just spreads in your mouth simulating the melt-in-the-mouth feel. It has the right softness and taste. You got to try it to know it! It's supposed to be high in cholesterol, but no regrets in trying.

Their house salad was well done too. The nuts with the crispy vegetables with the bed of vine tomatoes soaked in the vinaigrette dressing just makes you want to have it all. I have always liked vinaigrette dressing. It's not the usual kind of vinaigrette, it's fruity and tangy. You know that the sauce had been made with care.

WOW.. what's coming next?

Tenderloin and wild barramundi.
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Wild barramundi
Crusted with roasted bacon & garlic laced with ratatouille coulis infused with sweet basil served on crunchy French beans & carrots

Tenderloin
Simply grilled & topped with beef bone marrow nested on parsley mashed potatoes served with asparagus spears complement by a classic red wine sauce infused with fresh herbs & spices
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I did not try the tenderloin but it certainly looks great. It's served in a beautiful glass plate. Thick patterned glass plate for the tenderloin.

Wild Barramundi is an elusive fish that spawns in freshwater creeks and then migrates to saltwater estuaries. During this transition, the Barramundi changes sex from male to female. Barra, as is it commonly called in the north, is a delicious table fish and is without doubt the most sought after catch. Please note that Barramundi must be released back into the wild between midday 1st of November to midday on the 1st of February.

It was served in the form of a round fish fillet on a bed of long slices of soft cucumbers. Classic red wine sauce to go with the fish meat. Spread with a fish shallot sauce, the cucumbers has never been so tasty! Phew.. The fish meat was great too. I felt like I'm swimming on the bed of cucumbers with the fish. Haha.

Great dinner needs to go with great dessert. The fluffy lemon soufflé stuffed in a crepe complement by Homemade mango and lemongrass ice cream. We were initially surprised with fluffy souffle. We thought it would be a flat crepe. The ice cream tasted good. The souffle with a some crispy sugar crust and crepe makes it wonderful. Heavenly.

NOW I AM HUNGRY AGAIN.

Only when we have that much of love that we will cry at just listening to this song...

Superwoman
----------------------------------------------------
Early in the morning I put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee has it's sugar and cream
Your eggs are over easy, your toast done light-ly
All that's missing is your morning kiss that used to greet me
Now you say your juice is sour, it used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder if you're talking about me
We don't talk the way we used to talk, it's hurting me so deep
I got my pride, I will not cry
But it's making me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everythings OK
Boy I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me

I fought my way through the rush hour trying to make it home just for you
I want to make sure that your dinner will be waiting for you
But when you get there you just tell me you're not hungry at all
You said you'd rather read the paper and you don't want to talk
You're like to think that I'm just crazy when I say that you've changed
I'm convinced I know the problem, you don't love me the same
You're just going through the motions and you're not being fair
I got my pride, I will not cry
Still I can't help but care

HOOK 2 times

Ooh baby, look into the corner of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But I can't be that superwoman that you want me to be
I give my everlasting love if you return love to me

HOOK

If you feel it in your heart and you understand me Stop right where you are, everybody sing along with me

I'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet
But you got to realize that you've got to be sweeter to me
I need love, I need trust, your love

HOOK

I like the feeling of being in church singing with love.. It feels free.. I feel love - no violence, no hurtings, no disasters. The god I worship is Peace. This song really hits something in my heart. Sometimes, things just happen before you, it's gonna be love. Whatever it is..

Mandy Moore - It's Gonna Be Love
----------------------------------------
It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna you baby

Time I've been patient for so long
How can I pretend to be so strong?
Looking at you baby
Feeling it too baby
If I’m asking you to hold me tight
then it’s gonna be all right

[Chorus]
It’s gonna be Love
It’s gonna be great
It’s gonna be more then I can take
It’s gonna be free
It’s gonna be real
It’s gonna change everything I feel
It’s gonna be sad
It’s gonna be true
It’s gonna be me baby
It’s gonna be you baby
It’s gonna be...Its gonna be Love

Time am I restless or a fool?
How can you pretend to be so cruel?
Maybe it’s me baby
Maybe it's true baby
Maybe it's everything were dreaming of
We waited long enough

[Chorus]
Its gonna be Love
It’s gonna be great
It’s gonna be more then I can take
It’s gonna be free
It’s gonna be real
It’s gonna change everything I feel
It’s gonna be sad
It’s gonna be true
It’s gonna be your the one to do
It’s gonna be me baby
It’s gonna be you baby

[Backup singers] The sooner you let two hearts beat together
The sooner you know this love is forever

[Mandy] It’s gonna be love

[Backup Singers] Love needs time now or never

[Mandy] Its gonna be love

[Backup Singers] You really got to believe
[Both] it’s gonna be strong enough

[Chorus]
Its gonna be Love
It’s gonna be great
It’s gonna be more then I can take
It’s gonna be free
It’s gonna be real
It’s gonna change everything I feel
It’s gonna be sad
It’s gonna be true
It’s gonna be your the one to do
It’s gonna be hard
It's gonna be tough
It’s gonna be more then just enough
It’s gonna be LOVE

It’s gonna be Love

It’s gonna be sad
It’s gonna be true
It’s gonna be me baby
It’s gonna be you baby

It’s gonna be me baby
It’s gonna be you

It’s gonna be real

It’s gonna be love

Writing is the only way where it allows you to speak out your thoughts. Speaking sometimes provokes.. sometimes backfires.. and sometimes kills.

Now I come to know why some like to keep diaries and why some have pen pals. It's because you don't want people whom you know to know. Yet it allows you to share your woes. And that's what a good friend is for. I do not believe in keeping everything to myself, I know I will die of depression this way. I'm not a good keeper of information that hurts me but I do not want people around me to know my secrets. So I started to blog, keeping them as my personal diary. Hoping that if I die someday, this blog of secrets will be turned into a best selling novel. To do that, I should make my story the best, full of curves, full of interesting ups and downs. Indeed, my life so far had been very interesting, at the least to me.

Somehow it's engraved in the blood that she's my mother. When my cousins were here, we had some fights... not literally fights but quarrels. Somehow I think that there's no point having her as my mother. I loved my dad and my brother, I don't understand why I dislike her so much.

It all came from..............

Once upon a time, there was a little princess who had a little brother, the prince. Her little brother always gets into trouble by scoring red marks on his result slips. Her mother, the queen, whenever she got to know about this, never fails to give him a good beating using the triangular hanger. Then my brother would cry so hard till he wants to hide in the bathroom. After continuous beatings and scoldings, he started to develop tummy pain whenever my mum is beating him. As heard from the psychologist, it's a result of stress. I have always disliked her for doing such thing. I don't understand the purpose of scolding and beating.. why can't things be solved with love? Does she think that my brother will get scared and try not to make the same mistake again? Don't she think that it will carve hatred in me? Perhaps I loved my brother too much.. or perhaps I don't love her so much that I can forgive her.

Teenage already. Sometimes she's nice.. sometimes she's naggy (I can understand).. the worst thing I didn't like is she likes to use extreme words to tell people bad about me. "It looks ugly dressing like that...".. things like this... I don't understand what I do has got anything to do with her. I will purposely reply that "What has it got to do with you?!", in that moment, it's really boiling point.

Adult now. Then she likes to interfere with my things in which I feel that I do not need a third party to tell me things. It's not that I'm wrong in doing anything.. It's just that I didn't do it the way she wants it, so what?! She doesn't like some of the things I do.. and then she doesn't want me to live by myself so that I WILL NOT interfere here. What do I do? After some more analysis, I think it boils down to the love I have for her... I think it's only at most 10% there, just purely the 10% for the sake of the DNA and she's my mother in name. I am not going to be unfillial child, but I should realise who I love... my dad and my brother. Perhaps.. I need to cultivate some more love for her. Plucking out the rotten part of the root is difficult but not impossible. It could be our personality clashes but I wish that my home is a place where I come home to relax and not to give myself stress with her control. I want freedom in my own space. Somehow I think US people realise this earlier than we do and resulting what they call delinquents. Oh come on.. I know how to take care of myself and the family.. I'm not a stupid rebellion!

Today, she was watching korean drama this morning before I stepped out for work. I just asked her what she was watching.. we started to break the ice again after the last few days of silent war. It feels better now to be on good relationship. After all, who likes to stay in war zone?